CLOSING THE GAP OR THE END OF THE HIATUS

Uninterrupted talk can tire both the talker and the listener. Hence the beauty of pauses. In previous posts I talked of town doings and of paunchy buffoons who seek to fill their empty with venomous babble. Then I lost a beloved friend whose presence had enriched my life for thirty some years. I cannot write about her yet. The loss is too recent, the wound is too raw. It is my great good fortune to have a small circle of tried and true friends who help me endure grief with as sensitively as they share my moments of joy. Chief among them is my biological sister, a gifted woman who has transitioned gracefully from practicing law to writing. She, my daughter, another literarily inclined lawyers well as two lawyers of the non-literary variety.

There is no question that lawyers make great friends. Tilting at legal windmills sharpens their minds and talking juries into right wrongs gives them a chance to see problems from many angles. Really good lawyers see all the angles with understanding and compassion.

The predominance of lawyers in my little circle is coincidental. Some of my best beloved are academics, journalists, farmers, scientists, writers and the undecided. What they have in common is huge hearts, ethical thinking and enviable values. Compared to such good fortune, what are the barbs of pitiful provincial buffoons? Onward, then. Da cappo. Allegro man troppo for now, but in time allegretto. Hello again. Thanks for popping in.

Sadly, difficult times do not necessarily create a bond between people. When one's wallet is nearly empty, it seems easier to give in to bitterness and envy than to appreciate the good things we have. I sympathize with a young friend's anger at someone else's frivolous expenses and I share her sorrow at not being able to provide her children with that which deems essential to a happy holiday celebration. Being much older, I have find it easier to be amused at wealthy friends' extravagance. I enjoy looking at their lovely possessions, but frankly, I have no need for a pair of shoes that costs $ 600.

True, time there was when I listened to the little voice that said that I needed to wear designer clothes in order to be accepted in a society that has always kinder to haves than to have-nots. A consumer society inevitably fosters social insecurity and the sense that one's worth equals one's acquisitive power. The good thing is that as one ages, one sees the folly of wanting to fill whatever vacuum there is in one's life with material objects.

Not that I espouse a Spartan lifestyle. I would not quibble if someone were to send me a Rembrandt, a silk rug made in Moorish Spain, an emerald necklace, a ruby ring. But I have accepted, at long last, love is the only real treasure. This season, it is my family and friends who will help bring joy and warmth into my life. Whether they own Jimmy Choo shoes or brand x-trainers is of no consequence. Their very being is more valuable than rubies. Sappy, you say? Scoff away. I stand by my choices and I choose joy.